This Love, This Hate
by Shay114
Summary: Edward Cullen spent his whole childhood tormenting little Bella Swan until the day she broke, and ran. But shes back, with a new look and a new attitude. Will Edward and Bella ever be able to become friends with such a horrible past ? Will they maybe become more? Rated M for language and possible lemons.
1. Introductions

**Okay soo hellooo and welcome to my first published piece of ffn.  
I've been reading ffn for basically the past 3 years of my life, and i've fallen' in love with TONS of story lines  
One of the many story lines that I've fallen for you would be this one, I've seen this story line abandoned by many authors and it always pains me to see this happen, so i decided to change that.  
**

**Summary : Edward Cullen spent his whole childhood tormenting little Bella Swan until the day she broke, and ran. But shes back, with a new look and a new attitude. Will Edward and Bella ever be able to become friends with such a horrible past ? Will they maybe become more? Rated M for language and possible lemons. **

**Disclaimer : I don't own any rights to anything Twilight affiliated other than the 4 novels, a few posters, an Edward barbie , and blue rays to the 3 movies that are now on DVD. The rest all goes to Stephanie Meyer.**

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Never in a million years could I, Isabella Swan, could have guessed that I would be in the same position I was many many years ago as a young child. Uncontrollably in love with Edward Cullen; my tormentor, the reason for my insecurities, the reason I left. I thought I had gotten over this. I thought that the moment I left, and became the person I was today, that all the feelings I harbored for Edward would be lost in the wind with the old me – but of course the universe has a funny way of changing all your expectations and turning your world upside down. But the worst part of this whole mess was, I couldn't find it in myself to ever regret one moment.

About three things I was absolutely positive: First, Edward was the sole reason that my whole elementary school career was a nightmare. Second, there was a part of him–and I didn't know how dominant that part might be– that might have done it out of admiration. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

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**SOOO THOUGHTS COMMENTS? This is just an intro, but if people actually find intrest in my little old story, then maybe I'll continue it ( : **

**Thanks for reading. **


	2. History

**Soo.. After soo many views and people following my story, i decided that maybe it was time that i put up a new chapter?** **Im extremely amazed with the sucess of this story already and im thanking you the readers for this, you've inspired me and you've possibly created a monster. I plan on doing updates every Tuesday or Sunday. Im not positive yet, but I'll figure it out**

**Once again i am not Stephanie Meyer, and none of the characters in this novel belong to me.. Unfortunatly.. **

**Enjoy**

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In many ways I was always an awkward child. With my frizzy brown hair, pale skin, horrible eyesight causing me to always have to wear glasses twice the size of my face and my crippling clumsiness. The only thing that I can say I had going for me were my blue eyes I had inherited from my mother.

My parents had separated when I was at the tender age of 7, and as a result my older brother Emmett and I were quite close. Emmett was 9 at the time and he was always a large child and later on grew to become just as over sized through the rest of his life as well. Emmett like me also had brown hair and blue eyes, but he also had the sweetest set of dimples, causing any parent, teacher or other child on the playground bend to his whim.

Emmett in many ways was always my protector. He watched over me through the course of the whole divorce and shielded me from all the horrible details I came to find out years later. My parents, Renee and Charlie Swan, were polar opposites. While Renee was a complete free spirit preferring to expose both me and Emmett to the world as she saw fit. In many ways Renee was more like an adult sized child than a parent. She had dirty blonde almost brownish hair and bright blue eyes and stood at roughly 5'3 was not only much more grounded but also quiet. Charlie preferred to make his opinions noticed in less subtle ways than my mother. My father stood at almost 6' and had brown hair and brown eyes.

While my parents were opposites, this match seemed to work for them for almost 12 years before they decided to split. Renee had decided that she wanted to lead a life in the warm Arizona sun. So off Renee went, leaving behind me and Emmett with promises of winter and summer vacations with her. Years later once both Renee was remarried to pro Baseball player Phil Dawyer, it just wasn't the same, visits slowly became less and less frequent until one day, we stopped visiting.

Renee to say the least was not very impressed with our deteriorating time with her and she slowly began calling us and emailing us on a daily basis to check on us. If she was nothing else Renee was very persistent.

Upon hearing the news of my mother's remarriage my father slowly became more and more work orientated leaving me and Emmett to our own devices. We would see our father only once he returned home at 9pm every night after working 18 hour shifts at a law firm 6 days a week. But one tradition we always kept up as a family was that we always had a big Sunday breakfast and dinner every week to catch up and act for once as a big happy family.

To say that school was a hard time for me would be an understatement. Seeing as I was very awkward but also very intelligent, I was automatically a victim to bullying in various forms. But the one thing that was always consistent about my constant struggles would be none other than Edward Cullen himself. Edward was the epitome of perfection, even as a child Edward was extremely intelligent, athletic and not to mention extremely attractive. Edward had a mop of bronze coloured hair always tussled to perfection and piercing green eyes and porcelain skin. Edward even as a child always had girls, myself included, running after him admiring the alluring perfection that must come with the Cullen charm. Edward being the same age as Emmett also had a younger sister, named Alice. Alice was the same age as me, and like Edward also had green eyes and porcelain skin. But that was just about where all the similarities between the Cullen children end. Alice was always very small for her size, actually much smaller than me; Alice had blonde hair and was much like a pixie always coming to school in a fairy costume in kindergarten straight through grade 5.

Alice much like me was an outcast, and because of this we quickly became close friends, finding trust and comfort in each other, along with our other friend Angela. Angela was actually very tall for our age and was constantly tormented because of it. But aside from Angela's height, she had long brown hair and brown eyes.

While I and Angela were tormented by Edwards little clique of what seemed to be the gods & goddesses of the school, Alice had immortality as her brother ruled the school. There had been many times Alice had tried to stand up for both me and Angela, as we were what appeared to be her only friends , but Edward was quick to shoot her down and create a larger scene resulting in a more painful experience for both me and Angela.

Edwards clique, consisted of Rosalie and Jasper Hale, Tanya and Irina Denali, Eric Yorkie and My brother Emmett. While Emmett never was one to participate in much of the terrorizing of the school, he and Edward were close friends from a baseball camp that they were both enrolled in during the summer of their second grade. Edward had been in, and around my house many times, always commenting on how much of a dork I was because of all the books I collected in my room, or because of the many posters that I had at the time obtained of the members of N'sync. Sue me. I loved them. But Emmett would stand up for me at every opportunity he could, he just never realized how evil Edwards little mind was. Why I still fell for him? I'll never know.

The pranks and bullying was usually bearable, Edward has dubbed me as Frizzy Izzy during a recess while I was in grade 2 which quickly caught on, and stuck. Not only was Edward extremely persuasive, he was popular, the whole school worshiped Edwards and did just about anything that he asked the school body to do. So it wasn't much of a surprise when he entered junior high, and quickly took over the role as School President. All 3 years. The torment through elementary school was absolutely nothing compared to the complete hell that I was put through during junior high. During the 7th grade was when 89% of the female population not only had grown boobs, but had also magically begun to claim boys as their own. I being apparently a late bloomer had no chest or a boy to my name. To me it wasn't that much of a big deal as Alice and Angela both also were single, though they had boobs. It was the fact that Edward had decided that this would be his new approach.

Edwards's girlfriend through the majority of middle school had not too much surprise Tanya. So the moment Tanya decided to point out, directly to my face, that I was flat chested, Edward used this to his advantage. Through all of grade 7 and much of grade 8 I was then known as pancake Izzy, for obvious reasons of course. Emmett was not so approving of this new name, and as much as he tried, the names became too much for even him to try to handle. He gave up.

The final straw for me came in grade 8. It was a day I will never forget. I was asked to read a poem during a Remembrance Day assembly. The poem I was asked to read made mention to "placing your poppy over your left bosom" and as to be expected, the crowd went wild. But that was not what set me off. What set me off was Edward deciding at that moment to take the microphone from me and state "Sorry Miss. Swan but I don't feel you are equipt enough to be using such words" While gesturing to my still non developed chest.

I was horrified. The whole school including some members of the faculty were now laughing at my expense. My whole body flushed red as the tear flowed down my cheeks, and I ran. I ran like my life depended on it. And I ran straight home. I locked myself in my room and called the one person who could help me in a time like this – My mother.

She comforted me and made me finally feel a bit better about being in the position I was in. She stayed on the phone with me for more than 4 hours before I came to the conclusion I needed new scenery. I called my father immediately after this new found discovery and made plans to leave for Arizona the following morning. I packed up everything that I held dear to me into 4 suit cases, and off I went.

As soon as I entered Arizona State, my life was flipped upside down; I now had 2 loving parents who both waded on me hand and foot. I was given the royal treatment and I was transformed.

Within a year I learned about mousse and hair straightners. I bought contacts, and I even filed out quite a bit, growing to become a full sized C cup. I became someone I never thought I would. I became someone I would have once envied, and I loved it. My mother became my savior. As she introduced me to teen magazines and taught me her insight on boys and dating, and that very same year, I met my first boyfriend – Jacob Black. Jacob was needless to say, absolutely beautiful. He was tall, muscular, tanned and strong. But his only downfall was his IQ of negative 700. The relationship lasted 6 months before I got tired of having conversations on how small everything else seemed to be to Jacob. We broke up on mutual terms and remained friends. In Arizona, I grew and became someone that didn't need protecting anymore. I became my own confident person.

After 3 years of staying with my mother and Phil she unexpectedly became pregnant, with a baby boy. She was absolutely ecstatic. But she was worried. She began to worry that with the baby I wouldn't be able to keep up my perfect grade average and she decided that it might have been a good idea for me to move back in with my father.

At first the thought was terrifying, to think that I would have to go back and deal with Edward Cullen and his minions once again. But then I quickly discovered, I wasn't that same girl who left forks crying like a baby. I was now Bella Swan. I had changed and i was hoping that my little old home town was ready for my return.

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**Comments? Questions? Thoughts? Love/Hate? Its all welcome as long as you review (: **

**Stay tuned! **


	3. Shes Back

**Why hellooo faithful Ladies and Gents of the world of fanfiction. **

**I would like to personally say im oh so sorry for updating sososososososososo long after I promised, I was bombarded with exams and then summer brought a whole new world of challanges that none of you want to really hear about so in short, IM SORRY NOW GO AND READ THE UPDATE I HAVE GIVEN TO YOU.**

**LOVE YOU ALL. ENJOY 3 **

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To say that packing for a move was easy, would be a huge lie. To say that letting go of all my friends that I had somehow managed to acquire would have been an even bigger lie. Everything about this move back to forks was abnormal.

In my haste to leave, I had barely had time to notice the wild fire that I had left in my wake. I left behind my two best friends, without as much as a good bye. The only person who I seemed to still be in contact with from Forks would be Emmett. He was the only person who really knew where I was, and who I had become due to his visits during holidays.

As I sat on the plane on my way back to Forks, my mind was flooded with thoughts and fears that my return to forks would evoke feelings that I had long forgotten about. Fears of a new school, fears of having to make new friends- fears of trying to win back old friends. I feared it all. The whole 2 hour flight was spent with my head spinning at 200 miles per hour.

Once we landed I quickly went to go pick up my luggage only to run into my oaf of an older brother. "EMMETT!" I yelled as I was soon wrapped up in a monster bear hug. As we grew up, Emmett somehow managed to grow to 6'5 and grew muscles that rivalled a body builder, while I still stood at my 5'4 and average size. "BELLYBEANS" Emmett screamed out in return. "EMMY BEAR" I screamed back hoping to convey as much excitement as i could while in my tired state from such a long period of time sitting in one spot.

"What do you need me to carry? How was it out in Arizona? How's mom? How's the baby? Phil? "His mouth was moving at about a thousand miles per hour and i could barely keep up.

"CALM EMMETT CALM" I Yelled throwing my arms up in defense. "How about we slow down and we talk about it on the way home?"

"For you? Anything" He smiled back at me almost beaming with dimples and all.

On the drive home from the airport i answered every question thrown at me by Emmett and even asked a few questions back. Apparently during my time away, my dad had remodeled our once creaky and tiny family home into a complete modern man cave- aside from my room of course, which remained untouched. I also learned that at school Alice was now dating none other than Jasper Whitlock and that Emmett himself was dating queen bee Rosalie Hale. The world of Forks now seemed to me like such a foreign place. Everything was so different.

The first thing I did as I set foot into my old room was to grab all the clothes that were in my closet and quickly dispose of them as quickly as possible to save myself from the painful memories as much as possible. Once i returned back to my room I began to unpack.

After what seemed like hours later of unpacking and cleaning of my old room, I decided it wasn't enough to just move in my clothes and books into my room full of bad memories and tears. I needed a fresh start, and I was going to start with a new bed set and some curtains. My room had always been a soft purple and i was still partial to the colour and decided that i would just leave it for now, the furniture in my room was surprisingly still all on one piece and usable, so i felt that the furniture could stay as well.

I walked down stairs with my keys in hand ready to go straight to the nearest Target ready with my list in hand when i was bombarded by a still very excited Emmett.

"Belllyyy, where ya going?" He asked

"Just to Target Emmett, I'll be right back"

"Can I come with ya?"

"Alright fine."

Once we walked out to the driveway I realized that my Range Rover had yet to arrive and we were stuck taking Emmett's tiny Audii R8. Personally I could never understand why he would drive such a tiny car but you know to his their own.

That night as I finally was ready to get myself into bed after putting away my purchases for the day, I laid awake for hours just fretting what the next day would bring me; a new school, old friends, old enemy's and a whole lot of terror. I silently asked myself if i was really ready to go back to the place that i feared the most, the place i ran from oh so long ago, but after hours and hours of reassurance, I knew i was doing the right thing facing my fears and finally showing Forks High , that Isabella Swan isn't the same frizzy izzy that ran away all those years ago.

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**OKAY THAT IS IT FOR NOW GUIES. BBUT BUT BUT BUTTT IF YOURE GOOD AND I GET SOME REVIEWS I'LL UPDATE FASSSTERRR ;) **

**-Shay. **


	4. Day Uno- The morning

**Oh haii, okay so im really really sorry! im horrible at this whole "updating" thing, but stick with me ? I refuse to give up on this story! I just have such a heavy course load and a goal of at least a 90% this semester, so bare with me with the updates here people. But i mean.. More REVIEWSS and maybe I'll update a bit fasterr? YAYAYAYA? Okay fine i'll stop ranting now.**

**Enjoy**

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I awoke on the first day of school with a jolt. I had slept fairly peacefully every other night i was in Forks, but that night i was full of nerves and couldn't help myself when i awoke with a start at 5:30 in the morning. As i couldn't get myself back to sleep i figured it was my body telling me to start getting ready for my day and to stop pushing away the inevitable.

I walked to my bathroom, showered and shaved, it was supposed to be one of the very rare sunny days in forks that day, and i was not going to waste one of my very few opportunities to take in some rays.

I was happy that i was starting school along with the rest of the school. It was nerve wracking to change schools during my junior year, but i knew that if I stayed true to the confident Bella i knew i now was, i would be able to handle it.

I dressed in a pink almost cream peplum top with a low V cut in the back ended with a bow, a pair of white jeans and a killer pair of strappy black heels (Outfit links at the end of the chapter). I then proceeded to curl my hair, and put on a fair bit of makeup. By the time i was finished i was quite pleased with my appearance and by then it was 7, so grabbed one of my many Victoria secret PINK backpacks and headed downstairs. I then decided to treat Emmett and Charlie and prepare them a nice breakfast.

I had made eggs, bacon, pancakes, and a fruit salad by the time Emmett had strolled downstairs at 7:30 that morning. He took one look at the food and launched himself at me.

"Oh god i love you. Please don't ever leave. Oh my god i haven't eaten like this in months" He repeated.

"Anytime Em" I smiled. It was nice to be appreciated. Emmett then took it upon himself to eat just about everything i had made almost leaving none for Charlie who strolled down soon after.

Charlie was not one for extreme shows of emotion so he was not as open about his thankfulness for my cooking as Emmett but he smiled and muttered his thanks, which to me was just as rewarding.

By the time 8 strolled around I found myself sitting in my Range staring at my garage door giving myself some form of motivation to get myself through the day. I knew that one way or another that i would get through it and that i would somehow figure out a comfortable routine and social balance. I just had to be sure of myself.

I arrived at school by 8:15, the parking lot to the school was fairly empty by the time i arrived as school started at 8:40 and students here were obviously not ones to arrive to school early. I walked into the school on my own and headed straight towards the office which was conveniently located close to the entrance.

As i walked into the office there was a little old lady around her early 60's sitting behind an oak desk with a gold name plate with the name "Mrs. Cope" engraved into it. I walked up to her.

"Hello, I'm new here, i was wondering if i could get my timetable?"

"Why hello dear, you must be Isabella! My how you've grown! You're so pretty dear! Oh my! Well here's your time table and a map of the school, enjoy your time here at Forks High, these are the best days of your life and don't you forget it hunny!" She rushed out before i could really even get so much as a thank you in. I blushed and muttered my thanks before heading to the cafe to review my classes and look over my time table one last time before i had to head to class. This semester I had accounting, marketing, chemistry and biology. I was actually excited for a fairly easy semester before next where i would be thrown English, Math, Drama and French.

Seeing as i had accounting first period, i walked towards the business wing of the school which happened to be on the second floor of the building. The school was now fairly packed, but nowhere near as packed as my old school used to get, I was slightly surprised by the lack of students until I remember that with a population as small as Forks i should be surprised there were more than 5 kids in my school.

When i walked into accounting i was not surprised to see roughly 15 kids in my class. I decided to just sit in the far corner and hope for the best. I was always good with numbers and accounting was one of my strengths. Once the teacher began talking and handing out text books, a girl I vaguely remembered as Jessica turned in her seat.

"You're Isabella right?" She asked

"Uhm Yeah i am, and you're Jessica right?" I asked as calmly as possible waiting for her reaction

"Oh, cool! I barely recognized you from when we were kids! You're so so pretty! We should totally sit together at lunch. What's your timetable look like?" She rambled off. I was actually in complete shock; this girl was actually inviting me to sit with her. Me, the loser from grade 7, i was in complete and utter shock. As i recovered from my shock she proceeded to inform me that we also had marketing second period together, i was ecstatic to have found a friend.

By the time 3rd period had rolled around it was time for lunch, and i had managed to meet a few of Jessica's friends including Angela who i was surprised to find still remembered me. Angela was now dating Ben. After class i went to my locker to put away my books and to collect my packed lunch.

As I was at my locker, I felt a shudder run through my body as if i was being watched. I turned around to meet eyes with a blazing set of Emerald pools that belonged to none other than Edward Cullen.

"Why looks like frizzy izzy finally grew into herself." He smirked.

"Hello Edward, it would appear i have, to bad that it still looks like you haven't" I snapped, and then with that i turned on my heel, slammed my locker shut and walked away, adding a little sway in my hips. He was not going to ruin my day today.

As i entered the cafe everything seemed to surreal as you can see basically every set of eyes in the room snap up to look at me. I was slightly embarrassed but it was one of the many downfalls to being the new kid here.

I spotted Jessica at a table mid-left of the cafe and i approached her. She was sitting with Angela, B en and a few other people i have yet to meet. Jessica greeted me as warmly as ever before she decided it was time to teach me just about everything there was to know about Forks High.

It was gonna be a long lunch period. That was for sure.

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**SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU GUYS READY FOR THE CULLENS? Okay i actually have a question for you wonderful wonderful readers, would you like to see Edwards POV before I have him and her actually interact for more than 2 seconds, or... Would you guys just wanna hear bella? **

**LEMME KNOWW! **

**Bella's outfit**

cdn . shopify(dotcom) /s / files / 1 / 0170 / 5408 / products / 6974695_1024x1024 . jpg?5870

cdn . shopify (Dotcom) /s / files / 1 / 0170 / 5408 / products / 551617_1024x1024 . jpg?5870

cdn - s3 - 0 . wanelo(dotcom) /product / image / 4640674 / original . jpg

victoriassecret pink / accessories / backpack - pink?ProductID = 99816 & CatalogueType = OLS

(Remove la spaces)

**Thanks for reading! **

**see you soon hopefully 3 **

**- Shay**


	5. Just an Update

**Wasnt really sure if anyone was really reading my little old fanfiction, so i did stop writing for a bit as i feel into a downward spiral of school and exams and etc, but im going to be free for the summer in about 2 weeks meaning weekly updates, if you guys are actually interested. Just thought I'd put it out there if anyone cared.. But if you guys would like some more updates just hollaa at yo gurl and lemme know (: **

**Thanks for reading **

**-Shay **


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